Anxious heart

I hate the waiting game. For most of my life I feel as if I have been waiting for something to happen. I think back to middle school, and how I longed to be in high school. In high school I was quickly ready for college. College also quickly turned into a short means to an end. Even during our engagement season, all the hubbub and pomp got old quickly and I just wanted to be married. And, I know that should the Lord bless us with children, a family, that 9 months of such life changing anticipation is going to be hard. Right now we are at a spot where I'm not sure where to go. I have an issue with contentment, patience, trust.

I think this is a product of humanity in me. Revelation! I'm human! But, seriously, we are all longing for something with eager anticipation, whether that's the perfect career, perfect husband, perfect home, perfect kids, perfect relationship.... Problem is I all too often find myself focusing energy where it doesn't belong and frankly where I have no rightful control.

So there you have it, random thoughts that are on my anxious heart.

In other news, aside from finishing work deadline #1 on Friday (woohoo!!), we have had some fun outings lately. Last Saturday we met up with some friends for a fun night at Lucky Strike. Here are the boys resting their arms from bowling ball speed throwing contests.

This weekend, we visited Shawnee Mission Park and coerced Neosho to get into the lake. Success! It took us a while to find a stick that he'd even consider getting wet for. And, he still won't swim. He'll only go as far as he can touch. Baby steps.



Oh, and last night I went with a friend to the Kansas City Ballet's performance of Romeo and Juliet at the new Kauffman performing arts center. I laughed out loud and choked back tears. It was spectacular.


FYI, it is nearly 60 degrees here in Kansas on February 26th. Craziness!