I have a toddler.

I's official. My little tiny is now a toddler. He is a little man that loves to pull everything out of any drawer or cabinet he can open. His words consist of "dadada", "mumumum", "dawwwww" (dog), "crk cr" (cracker), and "woof". He reaches and says "eh, eh, eh, eh" when we wants something or someone.

He absolutely loves the book, "Brown, bear, brown, bear". He will find that book out of a stack and hand it to us to read to him.

He has this silly, high pitched laugh that is reserved only for when he sees a dog. 

He can point to his nose, ears, and mouth (sometimes) and understands way more than I give him credit for. 

6 month appointment

waiting to meet cousin Wyatt

9 month appointment

first time at an indoor pool was scary.

He took a couple of steps around Christmas, but started walking to people around 13 months and now at nearly 15 months has it mastered.

I was/am not prepared for life with child. There are so many unexpected things that pop up. Some obvious, some silly, and some emotional. Amongst all the normal day to day routines, here are some things that have occurred recently that I didn't I expect:

1. Losing a household item such as keys, makeup remover, makeup brush, etc. and finding myself thinking, "hm, I wonder if Lincoln got a hold of this and if so, where would he put it..." I search the bathtub, all bottom drawers in our house, and small unknown pockets of space in the bottom of the highchair. I find the lost item. It's a new one for me.

2. A Saturday where Grandpa and Grandma Kline took Lincoln for the afternoon and evening. Nic's dad voiced to us that he had no idea what they would do with a toddler that can't yet ride on motorcycles, tractors, hit a ball, or climb a tree. While grandpa wasn't sure what to do, Lincoln knew just what to do, what to play with, how to eat, and run around outside. However, for us, the day left Nic and I paralyzed. A whole day without our little and we, surprisingly, were lost. We missed him. Of course, whenever I am away at work or run an errand while Nic stays home with him, I miss him. But, but this was different, it was a sadness and an emptiness that was uncomfortable. Nic and I were together without him. We talked about doing this and that and kept repeating the phrase, "but we could just do that with Lincoln, he would like that." Lincoln showed grandpa and grandma what to do and left us high and dry.

3. I boarded a plane with just Lincoln a few weeks ago. As a family we had a rough morning, getting 2 of 3 ready for a flight and a 10 day trip. Lincoln was not in the best mood and neither was I. I about lost it on the way to the airport. This is crazy, I thought, no way is this going to be good. The 3 of us waited together at the airport for my delayed flight and then came the moment of separation. Unexpectedly hard for me. I fought back tears the whole trip, the friendly and patience security guard noticing my juggling act, the kindness of fellow passengers, the nervous and rude passengers that were irritated getting stuck sitting in the back with the kids. All of it made me fight back these unknown tears. Lincoln did amazing for the most part, I was mess. Seeing Nic's text to my family letting them know I was on my way and "the bigger my family gets, the more I have to miss when they leave" made me lose it. That trip I physically felt the prayers, I felt earthly and heavenly love. I knew I was not alone. A flood of unexpected emotion.  

I know there are many more stories to come, probably most of which I won't have the words to describe them.

We are beyond blessed to have this toddler around.

here we go again

We found out last November that we are expecting our 2nd child. This is how we feel. :)

Due date is July 12th, and we can't wait to meet this new member of our family. On Feb. 13th, we had our sonogram to find out if baby #2 is a boy or girl. Nic told me in the waiting room that he wanted to wait to find out over a home cooked dinner the following day, Valentines Day.

Our unborn child is a...

We can't wait to meet you and introduce you to your older brother, Lincoln. We pray you two grow to have an amazing relationship, centered on your Creator.

lincoln turns one!

we celebrated lincoln turning one last december!

we are thankful for so much. this little soul is a sponge and it is a blessing to watch him grow up. motherhood is anything but easy, but it is a joy to have a front row seat to meeting, knowing, and loving this little boy. 

this little just gets more and more active. he is an explorer. here are shots of 10 month old lincoln.

and, 11 month old lincoln. loves loves loves to clap.  

and finally, our 1 year old. 

lincoln working on his balance, thinking about walking...

One wobbly step left.

one twisted step right.

and, boom, hits the ground.

life with lincoln keeps getting better and better. 

"A new life blooms" Baby Girl Shower

I am thankful for the gift of new life, both physical and spiritual. This shower was thrown for a dear friend that I learn from constantly. She is full of wisdom and love for people. I love watching her as a new mommy, the way she loves her little girl is beautiful and sacrificial.

I know this shower was ages ago (August), but here are some photos of "A new life blooms" baby shower for her little girl.

The invitations were engineered by husband, Nic. He has an amazing ability to think technically and creatively. We constructed a paper flower onto a piece of card stock. Upon receipt, the paper flower is closed, then you pull the stem and the paper flower opens. This took me back to one of my first memories of Nic, instead of buying me real flowers, he would often make me paper flowers. I learned to inspect the flower carefully as he would always hide a message in the flower (i.e. the stem unraveled into a note or there was a secret message written or taped on the back). Who doesn't need a paper flower in their life?

If this mom to be weren't an amazing business woman or an incredible baker, she'd be a florist. So, of course, no pressure to find beautiful flowers. Luckily, we have an amazing market downtown with just the place for fresh and reasonably priced flowers. I picked those up the morning of and they were scattered throughout. Seeing these photos makes me long for spring time.

We gathered outside, ate, drank, and watched the soon to be mom open up all the wonderful gifts.

Congratulations!!

5 year wedding anniversary!

happy 5th year of marriage my love. i joyfully hold on, let it carry us, and embrace the love we have every day.

i am grateful for the 5 wonderful years i get to call you my husband, thank you for loving me, giving me grace upon grace, and pointing me to Christ.

i am the luckiest.

bigger and bigger

A friend of mine posted this article a couple of weeks ago and the words have stuck with me. It was written from a mom of 5 to a mom of one or two, and I was so encouraged by her words. She said it well, no matter how many kids you have you are maxed out - emotionally and physically. I feel maxed out and it's encouraging to know that others with one kid feel that way too. :)

I was also reminded of two amazing truths:

1. I must trust God to be Lincoln's ultimate protector, He loves him more than I know.

2. Life will only get easier if I let God get bigger and admit that I need His help. She mentions that she raised her kids in a land of "I Can Do This" (you know with all the books and gizmos), and having that "I Can Do This" mentality will only bring on guilt and shame. It's so true. I don't have the strength, wisdom, and love for Lincoln that I should, but He does.

Lincoln grows so quickly.

7 months: army crawling

8 months: pulling up and falling down

9 months: strangers are strangers now, it takes him a while to warm up to people (and bears :)).

Thankful for these two gentlemen.

Precious gift of life

A dear friend had her little boy last week. For me, as long as I can remember, I always knew I wanted a family. In the mind of a young girl, of course it was a long way off, lots of things had to fall into place before that day would come. If my friend is anything like me, it's a moment in time that she's been waiting to meet for quite sometime.

My friends' little boy was quickly taken to the NICU, where he was dressed in a "cooling" hat to prevent brain damage. My heart hurts for this family and it reminded me of the preciousness and frailty of life. I was taken back to our early days in the hospital, the anxiety, fear, overwhelming emotion and physical exhaustion offset by joy for the long awaited arrival of our baby, our son.

It's hard to describe the emotion, but having the weight of concern for his life lifted off my shoulders when I'd hear his cries all night long made the hard night a good hard that I wouldn't trade for any alternative, well, except maybe a perfectly sleep trained baby that smiled, laughed, and communicated perfectly as a newborn. But in reality, if he didn't cry I would never have known or understood his unforgiving need to feed him or change him or hold him. And, I would have never known how truly selfish I am at heart.

Newborns are hard, and to add to the feeling of helplessness, concern for his life, brings me to my knees to plead with God to remove this trial from the little ones life and the life of the family. Put it on me, God. I can handle it. The truth is I can't handle it, I just want to try. In my ignorance and thinking I can fix things, I quickly lose sight of the one that does fix things. Jesus heals souls. He gives life. He knows, loves, and provides.

"Some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven." And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, "This man is blaspheming." But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, "Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins"-he then said to the paralytic-"Rise, pick up your bed and go home." And he rose and went home. When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men." Matthew 9:2-8

Thanks, Lord for the gift of life, both spiritual and physical. Heal the baby's little body and convince us of your goodness for your glory.