While we were all together in Springfield for Christmas, my mom gave us each a copy of a hand-written (unheard of these days, I know) Christmas letter my grandma, Lila Marie as she was called, wrote (mom's mom). As I read the letter I got a very small glimpse into the past and into her world in 1978, and I couldn't help but want to know more of her story, more of who she was, more of what was going.
Aside from keeping in touch with family and friends, the main reason I started blogging was to document our story. So our kids and grandkids (Lord willing) can read about us, what life was like here in the early 2000s. It's been about a year now since I've started blogging, and as I look back on this past year, our posts have mainly been centered around events, trips, social gatherings, home projects, cooking and the like. Not bad topics, very much what our lives were like in 2011. But equally if not more important I think is to document what is going on in our hearts, our marriage, what is God teaching us, where is He leading us individually and as a family.
As I look back on 2011, for Nic and I, it was a year of little outward change. By that I mean no job changes, no moving, no life altering news. Our daily/weekly/monthly routines have sunk in, I can see habits forming in our marrage, both good and bad. But God is doing a work in us.
A goal for me this year is to document life on all it's levels. Suppressing the "but what will they think about me if they read this" thoughts and being honest with ourselves and those around us. Not sure if it's my pride or if I just blame my "my life is private" personality, maybe they are one in the same, but I know I will struggle to articulate in written words what is going on in our hearts and in-between memorable events. But I will try. I want to try.
A thought that came to me as I wrote this was that the worst thing that's ever been said about me has already been said, on the cross. It's true. You, Julie, are a sinner. You have committed the most unspeakable of all sins, your heart is far from me, you put yourself on throne and worship stuff, people, ideas of people, image, success. The list goes on and on and on. And, God said, I know, I know all about you, and I love you anyway. I want to you to know me and know how much I love you. I sent my Son to die for you, He took the wrath your sin deserves, He experienced complete separation from Me, in order for you to not. In order for you to know Me.
What have I to fear?
